Friday, May 18, 2012

Israeli Spies from the Animal Kingdom?

Shalom, chaverim! It's been a lovely week, with not all that much to report about our personal lives. After my brief stint in the hospital, life quickly got back to normal, and Elul and I attended Ulpan all this week. The weather has been so beautiful that's it's getting harder to want to sit in class for hours, then stay home and do even more homework. Also, we've become accustomed to having so many days off for holidays, it was strangely tiring to have to study Hebrew five whole days in a row!

But this isn't to say that life is dull here--not at all. On the contrary, sometimes just "opening the paper" (which for me now means loading a webpage) will give me enough laughs to last me the entire week. Apparently, over the past five years some of our neighbors have been accusing us of sending non-human Israeli espionage agents to their countries.

For instance, here's a link to a story about an allegedly Israeli "spy bird" in Turkey:,7340,L-4229295,00.html  (Turkey, geddit? Oh, the irony!)  I particularly enjoyed this story because it featured a quote from Yoav Perlman, an Israeli ornithologist whose pictures and expertise I have shared here, earlier.

And what about the accusation that evil Zionist spies are planting the Red Sea with killer sharks, just to disrupt Egypt's tourist industry in Sharm el-Sheikh?,7340,L-3995302,00.html

Further afield, and not naming Israel specifically, Iran has accused "the West"of sending "spy pigeons" to do reconnaissance work over their nuclear facilities.,7340,L-3611112,00.html

Finally, also pissing off the Iranian government was some unknown foreign agent's sending of fourteen "spy squirrels" which were duly "detained.",7340,L-3425130,00.html

Now, I do know that these four stories took place over the past five years. However, with the beauty of the internet's "related stories" feature, it's easy to get the impression that every neighboring intelligence agency is going completely bananas if you read them all at once.  On the other hand, these same stories would make for great movies.  Dan Silva's heroic Mossad agent-cum-art restorer Gabriel Allon could meet Chief Brody, and together they would craft a devious yet noble plan involving killer sharks, in a kind of "Jaws" meets "Israeli Mission: Impossible."

Or, in this post-9-11 world, "Groundhog Day" could be revisited so Punxsutawney Phil would spend his winter days underground, but underground in North Korea, equipped with a transmitter chip in his tummy and a webcam strapped to his furry little forehead. He would only emerge on February 2nd in America after his debriefing, and by making a great show of blinking and stretching, create a plausible alibi. Unless, of course, he's not really that bright and blows his own cover.

"What makes you think I'm a spy? Oh! Erm...oops."

Joking aside, lest we mistakenly believe that devious and dangerous wildlife--with nation-building ideologies and the technology to back them up--are something only of the modern age, I must remind you that history shows us that animals have been used for these types of black ops since the Middle Ages. (History, that is, as presented by Monty Python's Flying Circus in their movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail.") You have been warned! (If you can't see the video clip below, go directly to my blog at

And since what's good for the goose is good for the gander, be sure to check all the wildlife in your backyard for surveillance equipment. Shabbat shalom, everybody!

1 comment:

  1. Shalom Selah, we are starting our Ulpan this Sunday and I am excited and scared at the same time. It's the homework I am concerned about as I may also be working an EVENING shift doing phone work. I will just have to figure it all out.
    On your other topic, I think I need to look no further than the obvious "HIT" that has been put out on me by whom I'm not sure... but, the Mosquitoes are taking this one very seriously and doing their best to finish the job!!!




Thank you for reading my blog. I am interested in your comments, but I will delete anything that is either spam or just plain nasty. Please do not use the comments forum as a political or religious soapbox--there are SO many other online forums for those kinds of tedious arguments!